Book Details:
Book Title: And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir by Natasha Pryde Trujillo Ph.D.
Category: Adult Non-Fiction 18 yrs +, 285 pages
Genre: Multigenerational Memoir
Publisher: Violet Echoes Press
Release date: April, 2024
Content Rating: PG-13: discusses trauma, near-death experiences, grief
Book Title: And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir by Natasha Pryde Trujillo Ph.D.
Category: Adult Non-Fiction 18 yrs +, 285 pages
Genre: Multigenerational Memoir
Publisher: Violet Echoes Press
Release date: April, 2024
Content Rating: PG-13: discusses trauma, near-death experiences, grief
"Dr. Trujillo has done an exceptional job of opening her life of grief and loss for her audience to experience. The intentional nature in which this book is written provides a welcome comfort of hope. Her words encourage her audience to look at those 'isms' we humans all own and instead of wanting to avoid seeing them, to look at them and learn how to navigate and accept; especially when it is too late to share those sentiments when you could have." —Feathered Quill Book Reviews
Book Description:
And She Was Never the Same Again is about you. It is about your family and your friends, everyone you've ever met, and all the strangers you have yet to meet.
It takes you on a journey of gains and losses that stretch generations, cultures, identities, and decades of time. It awakens you to the inevitable and makes you look at things most people want to avoid seeing. It explores near-death experiences; medical, individual, and intergenerational trauma; the stigmatized death of a partner; perfectionism; athletics; first loves; and the gaping holes that become permanent fixtures within us when those we love the most die.
You will feel, you will learn, you will grown, and you will never be the same again.
And She Was Never the Same Again is about you. It is about your family and your friends, everyone you've ever met, and all the strangers you have yet to meet.
It takes you on a journey of gains and losses that stretch generations, cultures, identities, and decades of time. It awakens you to the inevitable and makes you look at things most people want to avoid seeing. It explores near-death experiences; medical, individual, and intergenerational trauma; the stigmatized death of a partner; perfectionism; athletics; first loves; and the gaping holes that become permanent fixtures within us when those we love the most die.
You will feel, you will learn, you will grown, and you will never be the same again.
Meet the Author:
Dr. Trujillo is a counseling and sport psychologist, consultant, educator, author, and human. Labels don’t make her better or worse-equipped to deal with inevitable grief throughout life. She’s passionate about the power of storytelling and wanted to illustrate nuanced ways we cope with grief. Like you, she’s had losses and decided risking vulnerability may encourage others to redefine relationships with loss to live more holistic and intentional lives. She hopes this limited collection of stories can build the realization that there’s no “right” way to grieve.
connect with the author: website ~ facebook ~ instagram ~ goodreads
Dr. Trujillo is a counseling and sport psychologist, consultant, educator, author, and human. Labels don’t make her better or worse-equipped to deal with inevitable grief throughout life. She’s passionate about the power of storytelling and wanted to illustrate nuanced ways we cope with grief. Like you, she’s had losses and decided risking vulnerability may encourage others to redefine relationships with loss to live more holistic and intentional lives. She hopes this limited collection of stories can build the realization that there’s no “right” way to grieve.
connect with the author: website ~ facebook ~ instagram ~ goodreads
Interview:
What is a multigenerational memoir? How did you land on writing one?
I had never heard this phrase before. I made it up! My book is part memoir, part self-help, part psychological/education, and part biography of those who are impactful to me. It spans several generations of people and experiences. Thus, it is a multigenerational approach of some of the people who most influenced me, woven with theories and concepts from my experience and specialties as a psychologist and my own personal narratives. I landed on writing one because it isn't just my stories that have affected who I am and why I am this way. It shows that we don't just exist alone; we are forever influenced by the dynamics and experiences of those around us as well, whether we are aware of it or not.
What is the biggest misconceived notion about grief?
The biggest misconceived notion of grief is that it has a stopping point for truly significant losses; the grief stays with us forever. I often explain this as grief changing shape over time but never really going away. Another way I like to describe it is that we grow around it, rather than shrinking or evaporating over time. Some things fundamentally change us, and their impact simply won't be erased. Assuming there is an endpoint to such suffering is harmful, and I see this play out in my clinical work a lot. People often have expectations and rules for themselves that come with a lot of guilt and shame that they aren't "grieving" right if they are still hurt. It means it mattered to them, not that they have some type of undiagnosed pathology.
Name one of the most fascinating aspects of grief that you learned through your research.
One of the most fascinating aspects I have learned is that we don't just grieve death losses! We lose and grieve all kinds of situations. It is everywhere when you look around. It is fascinating that this isn't more widely known or discussed. Often, when I bring up the grief and loss that may accompany someone with an eating disorder going to treatment or an athlete choosing to retire, they are amazed that they could be grieving because no one has died. But in both cases, things they held dear to them and relied on died, whether they had human forms or not. With loss comes grief.
In your book, you discuss identity transitions. Can you explain what that is and why it is important in the context of grief?
We go through several transformations in life. If I use myself as an example, I was known as a student and athlete as a child. When I retired from sports, my life mainly became about being a graduate student, and then, post-graduation, I became an early career professional. These identity shifts are monumental and carry many gains and losses. You can also look at this regarding the roles I have and will play in my social relationships. As a young daughter, granddaughter, and niece, I was taken care of others. As I have aged, I have become a caretaker to some of my loved ones and assume this will continue, with particular roles switching entirely as time goes on. This is important in the context of grief because these transitions encompass both gains and losses. We grieve certain aspects of our identity as they change. I had a horrible time when my life as an athlete was over. But I also relished that I didn't have to stress about sports anymore. It was both/and both desirable and undesirable consequences. Our identity transitions are full of them.
In the book, you mention that different genders mourn differently. Why is it important for us to be aware of gender grieving patterns?
I was speaking about this in the context of my own family and culture. There were clear patterns in how the men and women in my Mexican family coped with loss. Understanding the cultural underpinnings and societal expectations of what is "acceptable" or "normal." When we pay attention to intersectionality, which is the interplay of our different social identities (e.g., ethnicity and gender), it can provide more context and understanding as to why certain people are the way they are, what influences them, and how to best support them. Seeing these patterns on a broader scale can also be analyzed and discussed. It can inform how we support groups of people based on the identities they may hold and how those identities are affected in specific spaces. You must also look at each person as an individual, yet it is also paramount to consider their collectives in figuring out how to best support them.
Tell us about the writing of the book. What was your process, and how did it unfold?
I sat down and picked 12 (my favorite number) of the most impactful experiences that I believed informed who/how I was when I began writing. Some of the stories were mine, but some were stories of those who most impacted me, even if I wasn't alive or part of the story. I then recorded interviews with the key players I had access to for each of the stories I told. I then listened to these and began crafting the narrative, adding my own synthesis, experiences, and conceptualization. After a draft, I read it to the key players to ensure accuracy. I had challenging conversations about what, if anything, wasn’t quite right or needed to be reformulated for whatever reason. This process is described in more detail in the preface of the book.
What is your advice to people who are not actively grieving but suffered a significant loss in their lives? Is there more work to be done, more to process?
I don't believe grieving is ever "done" or "over." We move forward, but we don't move on from significant losses. How our lives continue to unfold impact how much these losses affect us day to day. It is not a linear process; sometimes, there is no way to predict how we may be affected. That is normal and, although difficult, shows that there is always more to process and adjust to as life continues. I advise releasing expectations about what you believe you "should" be doing. There is no timeline, and wherever you seem to be on any given day in your grief process is normal. It is okay.
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July 3 - @ashleylynnreads – book shout out
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Aug 21 - Miranda's Book Scape - audiobook review / author interview
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Aug 23 – @ashleylynnreads – book review / giveaway
Enter the Giveaway:
My Review:
I have been on a personal journey of hope and healing in my life the last year or so. I am always looking for books that I can read about others' journey and they were able to find their own identity. When I came across And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir by Natasha Pryde Trujillo PhD, I was instantly intrigued and wanted to get my hands on it. I instantly was able to find it relatable within the first chapter. I admire the author to be able to share her story. It was interesting to see how so many life events can affect us all. It was a learning experience within myself to try to be more understanding of myself, as well as, those around me. The more I read, the more I felt comforted and at peace with the author's words. I found it inspiring and will be keeping this book handy on my shelf and go back to over and over again in the future.
I had the pleasure of listening to the audio version of And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir. I enjoyed hearing to Maria McCann's narration and how she was able to bring this book to life. The performance was great.
I am giving And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir a very well deserved five plus stars. I highly recommend it for readers who have experienced grief, loss, tragedy, and life struggles. I no doubt they will find hope and healing they have been seeking.
I received a paperback copy of Natasha Pryde Trujillo PhD's And She Was Never the Same Again: A Multigenerational Memoir from the publisher, but was not required to write a positive review. This review is one hundred percent my own honest opinion.
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