Book Title: Signs in the Rearview Mirror: Leaving a Toxic Relationship Behind
Author: Kelly Smith
Category: Adult Non-Fiction, 214 pages
Genre: Self-help, Relationships
Publisher: Sunny Day Publishing
Release date: April 2018
Tour dates: June 18 to July 7, 2018
Content Rating: PG-13 (This book contains real-life violence, but also meant for young people who are old enough to date)
What kind of person ends up in toxic relationship? And why does she stay? This searingly honest novel answers both those questions head on. Coming-out of a failing marriage, Kelly turns to Gabe out of fear offing alone. Her gradual slide into danger is at once terrifying and inevitable, and the steps she takes to get out of it will both inspire and offer help.
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Meet the Author:
Boston born and raised, Kelly now makes her home in Austin with her three sons and one amazing Giant Schnauzer Bullseye. Kelly has written for the Huffington Post, blogs at Thoughts Becoming Words, and hosts a podcast Let's Get Wicked Deep.
Connect with the author: Website ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Instagram
Signs you are in a toxic relationship?
At first it may be difficult to tell if you are in a toxic relationship, but if you are asking that question, chances are you're in a toxic relationship. When crying is replacing laughing. When you are not going out with your friend as much. When you are lying to your friends and family about what is going on in your life, those are a few signs. Jealousy. Social media questions, why are you friends with him/her. Delete your ex. Being questioned about your daily activities. If any of this is happening, you may be in a toxic relationship.
Why did you write this book?
While I was in my love triangle, I wondered why this was happening to me. I wondered if this had ever happened to anyone else. A love triangle, a toxic relationship is not something we talk about at the dinner table. One Sunday early afternoon, I was alone in my closet on the floor and I was crying. In the moment I decided if I ever wrote about this, I would write so no one else ever feels the way I did in this moment. As I began to heal I knew people needed to know that there was hope for anyone in this sort of situation. As I began to write, I realized why I got into a toxic relationship and why I stayed. That kept me going. Kept me writing. I wrote this book so others know what I didn’t and its ok to leave. To heal. To grow. And you are not alone.
Is it possible to live a happy life after a toxic relationship?
Yes. It is totally possible. But to get to a happy life, you will have to put the work in. You can’t move on while you still have contact with your ex. If possible, go no contact. Get yourself a good therapist and a recovery program. Learn and discover why you were in a relationship like that in the first place. But most importantly, don’t begin to recover until you are ready.
What was it like writing this book?
Writing this book was part amazing because I love to write, but also difficult because I was reliving so much. As I wrote I realized I loved the girl I was writing about, and at times it was difficult to see when she ( me ) was going through. I felt sadness. Anger. Frustration. And eventually happiness and relief. At times I had to stop writing for days just so I could calm down and go back to it with a fresh heart.
You wrote of being abusive to your ex husband Derek, how did you realize you were abusive and How is your relationship with Derek today?
I didn't realize how abusive I was to Derek until I was abused myself. While I was with Gabe, I recognized a lot of me in him. I stayed because I wanted to love the darkness out of him, but also because I felt as if I deserved it because of how I treated Derek. Today Derek and I have a great healthy relationship. I worked hard to build trust with him again. We are successfully co parenting and I respect his boundaries.
What is life like for you now after you healed from your toxic relationship?
Life is amazing. I am happy. Happy for the first time ever. The most amazing feeling for me is that my happiness comes from me, not a man, a job, a car, or anything materialistic. I am single and I am taking the time to really get to know me and understand who I am. I am preparing myself for whatever relationship may be headed my way. I have set myself up to enjoy life on my own so if my next relationship does not work out, I will not be destroyed, I will be able to move on in a healthy way.
Enter the Giveaway!
Ends July 14, 2018